Satire · Written by the neighbors
Not LEV’EL’s brochure. Left side: LEV’EL’s real marketing, quoted. Right side: what the neighbors hear.
LEV’EL · The Neighbors’ Edition · Amenities & services
Everything you need. Plus a few things the neighbors never asked for.
Climate control indoors. Noise control nowhere.
LEV’EL says
What the neighbors hear
Design
LEV’EL says
“Every detail has been carefully considered, from upscale neutral finishes to open layouts and outdoor terraces.”
What the neighbors hear
Every detail carefully considered, except the one where the outdoor terrace backs onto a residential alley.
Parody
Amenities
LEV’EL says
“We've got climate control, high-speed internet, a fully equipped kitchen, dressing rooms, and a prime location to keep things convenient and comfortable.”
What the neighbors hear
New for this season: a complimentary audience of neighbors in pajamas, and bass that respects no property line. Convenient and comfortable, for one side of the alley.
Parody
Sound
LEV’EL says
“stunning lighting and crystal-clear sound”
What the neighbors hear
Crystal-clear is right. The kids across the alley can make out every lyric. Their parents can make out every toast.
Parody
Your project manager
LEV’EL says
“our dedicated project manager handles all the details so you don't have to.”
What the neighbors hear
Our dedicated team handles the neighbors so you don't have to hear about them. Neither do we. We've tried very hard not to.
Parody
Full service
LEV’EL says
“From catering to production and everything in between”
What the neighbors hear
And our newest service: police visits, at no extra charge. Officers arrive, we nod, they leave, the party resumes. Please don't tip.
Parody
Hours
LEV’EL says
“Opening hours: 11:00 AM – 2:00 AM”
What the neighbors hear
Open until 2 AM. The apartments behind us are open 24/7, whether they like it or not.
Parody